Burundi. One of the least fortunate countries in the least fortunate continent on the face of the planet. The hard-luck people of Burundi have had to deal with the overflow of countless civil wars and at least one genocide, not to mention plenty of civil unrest of their own. And, to top it off, their people are being stalked and systematically slaughtered by the most prolific serial killer of all time.
Look guys: serial killers are people too, okay? Serial killers fall in love. Serial killers have hobbies. Serial killers like movies. And some serial killers enjoy their privacy. So while you're listening to your little true crime podcast, remember that's a human being they're talking about. A, uh, human being who killed a lot of other human beings. Oh, those pesky tragic details.
Cracked serial
Pop culture is fascinated with serial killers, and Cracked is no different. It's a strange curiosity, one that's responsible for many of our sleepless nights and roughly half of David Fincher's career. We cover them all, too: the Yugosalvian grandma serial killer, the murderer who inspired Oscar-winner Bong Joon-Ho, and even the terminally online (literally). So wait until the clock strikes midnight, everyone in your house is asleep, the only light is the dim blue coming from your laptop, and read all of our articles about people who kill people.
Movies and TV shows like Dexter are constantly trying to outdo themselves with over-the-top serial killers (a Hannibal episode featured a killer who turned his victims into musical instruments -- no, really). But real killers are just boring assholes with crippling mental illnesses and no scary gimmicks. Right?
Meanwhile, the Vancouver police department simply didn't give a shit about the disappearing women. They reasoned that all the women were drug addicts and had either wandered off to other cities or died anonymously of overdoses. They literally fired an investigator for having the gall to suggest that a serial killer might be responsible. One of Pickton's victims actually managed to escape the pig farm, bleeding from multiple stab wounds, and prosecutors dismissed the subsequent attempted murder charges against him because the most important descriptor of Robert Pickton at this time was "millionaire."
Related Reading: Some of the world's worst serial killers are still free today, including a real-life Hannibal Lector from Kazakhstan. For a look at some deranged murderers who just haven't been found yet, check out Soren Bowie's list of Etsy serial killers. Of course, the worst serial killers are animals- and that article will have you fearing them properly.
Operating in 1980 in the former Soviet Union, Dzhumagaliev is one of the most prolific serial killer cannibals the country has ever seen. Affectionately called "Metal Fang" for the set of white, metal teeth which had replaced his own chompers (making himself a sort of hybrid between Lecter and Jaws from Jaws from James Bond), Dzhumagaliev is said to have killed and eaten somewhere between 50 to 100 women... and even served a few portions to his unknowing friends.
After being sentenced to a mental institution in Uzbekistan and escaping once, the government decided that less than 10 years of rehabilitation was enough for this serial killer and simply let him go.
Oh, wait, no. She and her husband decided to do it again, to another victim. And another. Thus we wound up with the terrifying husband and wife serial killer team of Karla Homolka and Paul Bernardo, whose rampage only ended when Karla was charged with two counts of manslaughter in 1993. She then held a "going away party" before going off to jail, possibly with an amusing cake decorated for the occasion.
Here's everything you need to know about South American serial killer Pedro Lopez: when he confessed his crimes to police, they refused to believe him. They listened to him tell his story, glanced at each other and said, "Oh, bullshit. Get outta here."
When's the last time you've read about a big-name serial killer in the news? I don't just mean "a guy who killed several people" -- I'm talking about the brazen killer who captures the public imagination for months or years. Jeffrey Dahmer was back in the early '90s. Dennis Rader, aka BTK, was arrested in 2005, but hadn't been active for years by then. Strangely enough, there are way fewer serial killers now than there used to be. This seems good until you learn the reasons behind it, which are stupid.
There are so many serial killers in pop culture that we had an entire TV series about a serial killer who hunts other serial killers and it ran for almost 100 episodes. Just on Netflix you can see Gillian Anderson facing up against a charismatic killer, David Tennant alternately catching serial killers and playing them, and endless dramas from the BBC about detectives brooding over corpses in the rain. Then there are the movies (Jigsaw, Leatherface, Halloween, The Strangers ... Jesus, we need some new horror franchises), an infinity of true crime podcasts, even video games. You get the impression that serial killers represent 25 percent of the fictional population. Even The Office had a serial killer.
Cryptographic researchers have finally cracked a 51-year-old code left by the Zodiac, a serial killer who terrorized Northern California in the late 1960s and early 1970s. Much of the work of cracking the code was done in Mathematica, the statistics package from Wolfram.
According to Discover Magazine, which wrote about the effort in a story published in its January/February 2022 issue, three researchers successfully cracked one of the messages attributed to the Zodiac killer, who authorities believe killed at least five people in the San Francisco Bay Area more than 50 years ago.
Ironically, police now believe Shannan Gilbert wasn't a victim of the serial killer and may have drowned, but at least her 911 call helped them stumble across victims who otherwise might have never been found. Hey, gotta take your victories where you can get them.
According to the state government, 76 female murder victims in Juarez showed evidence of serial killings. Most were young, had the same eye color and hairstyle, were attacked while returning home from work, and had similar ... things done to them. One victim's family was only able to recognize their loved one by her blouse and the rubber bands holding her pony tail. So they're less safe-for-TV Law And Order-style crimes, and more Saw.
So, who is responsible? Well, the head of the FBI's office in El Paso suggested that an American could be responsible, noting, "This would be an ideal killing field for a serial murderer given the nature of the law enforcement response." Because apparently Mexico is a great vacation spot for both college kids on spring break and homicidal maniacs.
In 1977, the serial murderer Ted Bundy is escorted out of court at the Pitkin County Courthouse, having just been captured after six days on the run when he escaped the same courthouse. The Post Independent recently had its long-sealed safe opened by a locksmith, revealing numerous old photo negatives, including this one.Glenwood Post
An old safe that's been sitting at the Post Independent for decades was cracked open last week to reveal many photo negatives, including some of 1970s serial killer Ted Bundy when he was captured in Pitkin County.Glenwood Post
In one experiment, the researchers led by Iowa State University asked over 460 participants to imagine they were loyal customers of a retailer and planned to return a recent online purchase. Half were told the retailer was shortening its return window for all customers (generalized policy) while the rest were told the change would only affect serial returners (targeted policy).
In another survey, 100 participants were asked their thoughts on generalized versus targeted policy changes. When the return policy change was targeted (aimed at serial returners), 44 percent expressed positive emotions, 13 percent negative emotions, and 43 percent, neutral. Positive respondents often referred to the fairness of the updated policy.
Despite some positive word-of-mouth from instituting a policy aimed at serial returners, both surveys showed low-intensity communication for a targeted policy change (website update or store signage rather than PR/social media push) led to the best outcome.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Does it make more sense to crack down on serial returners than tighten restrictions on general consumers? Will better policing serial returners put enough of a dent into reducing the cost of returns?
I believe in a multi-discipline approach to the returns challenge. Online returns for clothing brands are frequently over 30 percent, which I believe is directly related to sizing issues. We need a better way to address the problem. One way we are addressing this is via AI and user-generated content (UGC). Another solution may be RFID using serialized inventory, and drop-and-go returns to speed the process and lower the cost.
I think this is more treating a symptom than the problem. More insight is likely needed into why that group of individuals are serial returners. Are there more tools that can help that customer rather than isolating them?
If crack downs on serial returners include revenue generating personal stylists who purchase a wide variety of clothing for clients to try on, and shoppers who buy multiple sizes to determine best fit, then retailers and DTC are taking a risk.
Pop culture loves stories about criminal masterminds because they're comforting. It's nice to think that it takes a meticulous genius to evade our competent, dedicated law enforcement. But the truth about how actual serial killers get away with the crimes is, well, less reassuring. For example ...
The world has for some reason decided to make Ted Bundy famous again, with a documentary series and a feature film on Netflix. (OK, maybe it's just Netflix doing it?) Known as a charming, Hollywood-handsome serial killer, he was in actuality an average-looking strangler who'd rape his victims' corpses until they were too rotten to hold up to the rigors. Even his escape attempts (previously featured on Cracked) are more due to the Naked Gun! handling of his case than any wiliness on his part. 2ff7e9595c
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